School's going to reopen soon in 2 days time .
In half a year's time i'm going to graduate from poly .
Time passed so fast .
i still don't know the path i'm going to take .
i know i want to make it big and earning big bucks .
but sometimes i just don't know which direction to go .
Route 1: continue studying .
Route 2: Start working .

Of course, i would prefer route 1, to continue study. Though i don't really like studying but i like being a student . It makes me feel young lolol i know it's kinda lame . But it's true . Working makes one feels more mature and older . Perhaps let's say this after i graduate yeah?

I think that heaven's playing with me sometimes . lol .
My new class consist of several interesting people . hmmm .
Luckily not alot of enemies though :3
All in all, what i know is:
i have several close friends in the same class with me :3
but alas, yin yin did not manage to be in the same class as me .
The 5 party-ers/clubbers are in the same class as me .
few slackers in the same class as me .
An ex-admirer of mine rumored by my year 1 class is in the same class as me .
An ex-crush i once like in year 1 is in the same class as me .
A lesbian is in the same class as me .
etc etc etc etc .

________________________________________________________________________________

Hmmm, yesterday you told me to inform you if i feel that you're neglecting me .
Well here it is!
You're neglecting me! Hahah!
Everytime you go out for dance or something, you rarely reply me back .
I will always wonder what you're doing, who you're with, where you all went etc etc.
How will you feel if im out late with my friends and i don't reply you .
I wonder if your dance friends know about me or not . Or why don't you reply straight away after you received my message hahah >.> Don't know why but sometimes whenever i want to talk with you, but you reply kinda slowly . Bet you don't even know my hamster went to heaven .

Well it's hard to put it in words from here now on .
i'll just try to type out whatever i think and feel yeah .

I wonder when will i get to see you dance/bring me along with you hahah .
Not when you're at home, not when you're alone, but when you're in the studio with your friends .
I know i don't dance, but you and your sis like dancing so much that i want to learn dancing too .
I wanted to share the moment with you too .
Even if i don't dance, i want to be there to support you .
Honestly, i always wanted to accompany you whenever you go dancing .
Or rather, I want to go where ever you are going .
you don't have to worry whether i be tired or not, if i am i will tell you so no worries .
I don't care if you're afraid of showing me your ugly side when you're dancing or whatever .
But you know i dont care about such stuffs.
Everyone have their own ugly side. No one's perfect hence practices makes perfect .
I just want to accompany you and watch you dance even if i don't dance .
I'll feel contented enough just by watching you dance and passing you a bottle of drink after your practice, wiping off your sweat and give you a kiss on your head saying "good job honey".
It's not that i will feel bored or not .
But luckily i don't hate dancing or dancers at all .
In fact, I like to watch people dance . On tv shows , videos or whatever .
I just wanted to be with you yeah .

My friend and her bf always go out everywhere together regardless if it's her friends or his friends . They'll accompany each other . I just find it sweet and nice hahah .

One last point, remember about the sentosa trip which we discussed? lol you don't really like your sis's bf to go . But honestly, i don't know if i've tell you this before, I prefer a double date hahah .
It'll be like super odd if there's only 3 people, you, your sis and me.
I don't know but sometimes i feel abit out when it's only the 3 of us hahah . Cos you seems to spend more time talking to your sis than me . so yeah, sometimes i feel abit odd one out . so somehow i prefer double lol . It isn't just the sentosa trip we're planning hahah .

comment? / top

i've finally changed my blogskin! but something is wrong with mixpod so no songs up yet at the moment .
loll my timetable's out today and wow the slackest timetable ever muahahaha =3
ima go fb awhile now (: ciaos (;

comment? / top

hmm looks like things still remains the same till now lol .
i knew all about it .
Sometimes i wonder why am i so stupid in the past to waste time go look for a private server with ring effects specially for the both of us . and yet when you found one, you did not even bother to tell me .and hooked up with another girl instead .
is online bgr and family really that fun ?
perhaps i have not met mine yet (:
one day...maybe i should have my well deserved fantasy too.




There's an increasing number of people adding my facebook and msn these days . i dont mind in facebook but in msn everyone kept popping out and ask intro intro and yet none of them are handsomes -_- [pardon me] there's one with a fuck face who really annoyed me kept asking me for my hp number the first day he added me in msn. i rejected him flatly. The next day when i logged in online he kept spam nudges when i purposely ignored him. he got this "bu soon yan" face in his msn pic which reminds me of someone who asked me to have a secret affair with him sometime ago which im so surprised of. I met him at meridian JC when my friends and i went for the open house. he is my friend's friend. He seems like those class jokers and a decent fun loving guy when i first met him there but who knows he turned out to be a pervert lol. no wonder people say first impression is always very important. i think he must have gotten tired cos i felt quiet from him today lolol .

Besides this, im still quite surprised that my ex, Andy, actually added me in facebook when we have not talked for so long. It's a surprise to me because I thought that he's going to ignore me and im going to ignore him like strangers for life ever since we broke up. i think he's my only ex who did that. The others, we just avoid each other.
This brings back memories about all my ex-boyfriends. i don't like thinking back about them cos it brings back unhappy memories. hmm, so far the most impressions left by my ex-boyfriends are Andy[humjibanana], Alvin[pegasi], Anthony(Wintermilk) and Bryan[lamecools]...the rest i either don't remember their names or it's just a short online relationship/flings. [i realised most of my ex's names start with letter A -.-]
1. Anthony.
it've been quite long since we break up. Reason being? he's a flirt. he betrayed me. yes. lol. he's a nice and sweet guy, a pity that he's fickleminded. However, he's one of my ex who managed to maintain a normal friend friend relationship with me after we broke up.
2. Bryan.
Bryan's a good guy. He can give security to his girlfriend. To him, if he has a girlfriend, his eyes will only have her. Even though we always ended up never meeting in real life, but i had a nice and sweet time with him just in our maple relationship. A pity that a miunderstanding made us broke up. When we were close to patching up again, that bitch babyshenay kept pestering him. lol maybe it's fate that we won't be together.
3. Alvin.
hmm don't know what to say about alvin too. We broke up cos of a indirect 3rd party whom is his godsister. This godsister-eva, is not blood related with alvin. But Eva is rich, pretty and one year older than us. Heard that her dad is going to adobt alvin as his godson. i wonder if alvin like Eva because of status or what. he's always so close with her. like her bf. Even Eva's rl boyfriend stated that and is unhappy. Does he really think that Eva's dad will really adopt him as his godson? lol? Everyone can see that and our relationship began to fall apart with many unhappiness. So we broke up. He's one whom i still hated.
4. Andy.
Andy potraits a caring and sweet bf to me. in maple, he's always accompany me and friends are always envious of us. I still remember his friends, weijian and clay lol till today we are still friends. I liked the company of his friends cos they are sociable and fun and they always like to create space for andy and me and make fun of us when the four of us went out together. But i never expected him to backstab me and i found out a hideous secret that he betrayed me when i came back from my holiday. I caught him with another girl online and i was so angry that i "divorced" him without clarifying things with him. From that moment on, we never talked to each other again. Then, he hacked my maple account. wtf i seriously hate him for doing that. But his 2 friends are so nice to help me investigate this secretly even though the 3 of them are classmates.  He is in the army now and single for quite a long time.

99% of my ex-boyfriends betrayed me except Bryan. That's why we came to an end. Why are guys so fickleminded? Why do they like to hurt me so much? Why should i waste my tears for these types of guys. I seriously hope that i will not meet anymore of those guys to be my boyfriend or husband. To think that even my current bf too. have all the good guys gone extinct? I'm sick of getting hurt again.

What i want in a relationship is :
 My boyfriend/husband will only have eyes for me regardlessly online or real life.
 I will only have eyes for my boyfriend/husband.
I just want a pure love relationship with no third party.
The Earth will only revolve around you and me. Yes just you and me.

Is this really alot? It's just the basic? lol? 

Im always full of envy when i see fann wong and christopher lee on TV nowadays with their advertisements etc etc. The two of them are so loving and sweet that i could melt in tears. How i wish i'll have a future like theirs too.























comment? / top

comment? / top

comment? / top

bored and took some pic pics hahahahh .
like the first two ;o looks quite vintagey to me o_o
having my fringe clipped up my head gives me a ballerina feeling *.*
lmao



P.S: I am not naked. I'm just wearing a tube hence the bare shoulder.
***Pictures are neither photoshopped or edited.***






comment? / top

I am standing at 5 feet and 2.5 inches tall , weighing 104 pounds. o_o
well LOL did that conversion probably 2 or 3 weeks ago hahahh .
But NOW i am 99 pounds ! ROAR! 99 POUNDS! YES!

i think im short -.- standing at only 5.2 feet tall only -.- 



Confused? what's with all these feet and pound stuffs?! l0l actually this is how the Americans measure their height and weight. So don't get confused with their way and our way . I did and was kinda embarassed loll .


I still remember how one of my buddies and i got confused with each other's height and weight because of that. It was funny so i remembered our conversion cos i've learnt something new too.

Thinking about it, it was rather amusing. lol.

I was slacking in bounce and met this funny dude[His name is nick] and we began training and chatting up loll .
We're talking about some food stuff and then i said i ate alot and i told him i felt fat -.-
so he asked whats my height and weight .
i said "160cm and 47kg". 
Nick's reply was: "wtf with the cm and kg?! LOL"
My reply: "UH, don't you guys measure weight and height in centimeters(cm) and kilograms(kg)?!"
Nick: "erm, no! lOl"
My reply: "then what "terms" did you use to measure these height and weight stuff?"
Nick: "Feet and pounds O_O"

My reply: "ok, hold on then lemme do a conversion into feet and pounds O_O"
My reply: " OK DONE! Im around 5.2 feet tall and 104pounds! :O fat ain't I?!"
Nick: "HOLY COW! WTF?! 104 pounds for real?! LOL"
Nick: "I can't imagine how bonny you are! i think you can fly! =o"
My reply: "OH REALLY?! *Feels flattered* LOL"
My reply: "So what's your height and weight?"
Nick: " I am 6.2feet tall and 140pounds lol" 
My reply: "ok hold on lemme do another conversion again to see how tall LOL"
Nick: "alright o_o"
My reply: "HOLY YOU"RE SO TALL LOL i can't imagine how big you are"


Lmao and so on and therefore -.- we continued crapping about it and it's quite lame. Well at least i learnt about feet and pounds more! HAHAHAH =O Well, i guess most americans are at least 110 pounds l0l they're bigger size and taller too ! *pout* HAHAHA :3

comment? / top

comment? / top

[PG]Warning : The content below requires parental guidance if you are below 21 .



The bed is shaking .
My head is spining .
Ouchh . AWWWwww ... AHHAhhhhh ...

The pain is penetrating me so much .
This intrigued me .

My body's splitting into two .

Can't help but kept moaning like crazy .
I'm feeling so hot !


 I'm ...


I'm ....


OOooooOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOOOOoooAAAHhhhhhAHHHHHhhhhhhhhhAAHHHHHHHHhh.... ~



Whatcha thinking? :O



IM FEELING SO DAMN HOT AND HIGH NOW .

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?!



HOT WITH ....

.................
.................
.................
.......................
..........................
..............................
........................................





FEVER!
















comment? / top

i don't even know if im attached or single now.
Being attached yet doesn't feel like being attached.
My bf doesn't even talk to me now.
I can't even talk to you when i want to share my joy or problems.
Does staying a low profile from your parents means not communicating with me?
Do your parents dislike me so much that it worries you?
Please be brave.


Whenever i talked about us, i felt like you kept evading the topic.
All he needs is just his computer and his "another world".
Sigh.
I asked you when will you be back to normal, you said weeks.
how many weeks? will it be a indefinite number of weeks?
Will we still be celebrating our 26th anniversary this coming 3rd sept?
Will you really be back normal by 12 sept regardless if you have solve the problem or not like you have promised me?
 I just want to ask, do you really think you have chosen the right approach to deal with the situation now?


I don't know but since we promised the 1 month period, for you to leave the online world and improve your family problems, and you said you want to continue our relationship few days ago, i shall wait for 12 sept then.
I trust the tears you shed about how much you love me and how much you want me to stay by your side. Please don't disappoint me. 

comment? / top

So bored these days hahah . Mainly mapling and chatting in bounce with all my new pals, watching tv, dramas online, anime etc.

Hias, Initially i was so happy that my internship finally ended. Because i can finally spend my entire holiday going out everyday with you. I've looked forward to this for so long. To spend quality time with you before you enter army. But it turns out otherwise. We spend so little time with each other now instead. Sigh. So many things i wanted to do like going to the beach, cycling, movies, walk walk etc. I wanted to visit special places with you. I wonder when you'll be back to normal again. Really hope to spend some time with you before you enter army. Please wake up soon and dump your computer.

comment? / top

it's friday again hahah . feels so bored now .

why are your family problems making us can't talk? I don't understand . Didn't we talked as usual like last time? So what is wrong now? o_o

Are you afraid that your mom will try to break us up? when she is feeling down and upset now and couldn't think properly? Please, you're already 20 now, going for army soon, not a 15 year old kid. She did that the last time cos you're still so young. She's afraid you may go the wrong path in the past. Actually, hearing you talk about your past like going clubbing, misbehaving, fighting with your father, running away from home to your neighbours' house and stay for a few days? I can really understand why your mom did that. But you've changed now isn't it? Into a proper Man. right? If you are my son, I will do that too. I wouldn't let my son out go clubbing, hugging other girls at such young age. You know, young kids below 18 usually don't think about their future. But you're going into army soon, Big guy.

I think you're more mature now. I don't know if i got tell you about this before, during the start of our relationship, your mom did called me a few times and we talked abit. She was trying to know me. She did warn me about those pre-marital sex blah blah and all. She's worry that we might do the wrong stuff cos im only 17 and you're only 18 then. I did assured her that i wouldn't do that and i think the same way as her too. After 1 month, she didn't call me anymore. Once in a blue moon, she even send some sms to ask how i was doing and a good night message. I believe that she cares for me. I believed that she trusted me enough and here we are, coming so far after 2 years. I doubt she hates me. I'm already 19 and you're 20. Adults. I would love to care for her and get along with her, treating her like my second mom. I don't mind telling her i love her and hug her too.

Even if your mom calls me and say nasty things, i'm telling you in your face that i am not afraid of it. I believe we can make it. I'm strong enough yeah. If she find ways to keep you at home, i can pop by secretly or we can meet up when you're going out or sth. We can talk after she sleeps. So many many many stuffs we can do. Do you understand this? I am not afraid and are you?

I thought your family seems better already. I don't really know what is in your mind now.
It's not that im getting pek cek with you, i only want an answer. When will you be back normal? when will you be back to me? or no? and loads of other stuffs.

I miss you so much yet i can't see you, can't touch you nor even talk to you.

Nevermind, i'll wait till the day when you're ready to call me. Please don't drag on too long already :<

comment? / top

hahahh went through some photo albums today . seldom posted up our pics before , well here are some best one i think >.> i think these pics are taken 1 month ago , wonder if there will be more in the future though hahah .






The pictures below are taken today before going out hahahh







comment? / top

hahah tml marks the one week since we last talk. There's alot of things inside me i wana know.

1. Do you still love me?
2. Am i still your wifey?
why you're not calling me that anymore? are you refraining yourself or?
i really felt happy yesterday night when you called me wifey, i thought you're back, but it seems you did it accidentally? ):
3. When will you be calling me again? when will we be talking again?

So how long more will things be back to normal? i really wish to know :(

comment? / top

it've been a few days since we last spoke. I wonder when will we be speaking again.

comment? / top

How i wish that i can live with you and hug you to sleep .

comment? / top

My wishes:
1. I wish that everything will be back normal, like the time we shared together in the past. I felt really happy those times we had back then. I really miss it. It've been quite a long time since we've met up. It seems like we're all stuck in a windwhirl now. It's like a test to all of us. We've g0tta stay strong and withstand this test yeah?

2. I wish that your family can get back together soon.
i know that your parents' nagging and your sister's is making you irritated. Why don't you try another approach? Face everything with a smile and say "i can do it" Please do not give up even on yourself.

3. I wish you can look towards the future with a positive mindset.

4. I wish you can be more cheerful. You are now so glum and grumpy which makes me feel sad.
You know, i don't mind lending you my shoulder to cry on once, cry out loud and let out your frustration.

5. I wish you can open up your heart more, share your problems with me. Humans are not immortal, they need someone to speak to; listen to their problems, hence the definition of one's respective partner. Let me be the ear to your problems.

6. I wish you can learn to relax, learn how to handle problems and not running away from them.

7. I wish you can be truthful to me.

8. I wish that you can solve these problems and not creating more problems. Whenever humans solve a problem, they grow up abit. It's part of the growing up process. When they deal with the problems, they realize what went wrong and gain new knowledge by trying to solve the problem and refrain the problem from surfacing again. Do remember to always think positive. I'll always be there to support you.


you ask me why i did all these? Because i can only say i love you.

comment? / top

finally my dental appointment is over ! but the next one's on september! 1 more mth hahah! that will be the time whereby i'll meet the braces specialist for consultation. I can't believe i'll actually miss my dentist after yesterday though it was a horrifying experience for me lol. I wonder if my dentist and his nurse had laugh at me for being such a baby in front of them hahah. But i really appreciate them for being so patient and caring. They really know how to "hong" me to ask me relax. hahah. One thing i know for sure is, i may have to go through an operation to remove the hidden tooth in my gum if im going for braces and it's better too even if im not. Im so damn stress and scare now.

During these few rough days, i appreciated some of my friends and classmates who cared about me. I think i've learnt some stuffs too. hahah one of you even tried to teach me something from your over-use bible to cheer me up. We may not be very close friends but you listened to my rantings hahah thanks. I also know for sure that i will not date a online pixel myself. Why waste time on something like pixels? I think it's true. Between a pixel and a real man, who would you date? I need to look positive. You never know who may appear in your life. Cherish is the word.


comment? / top

i thought the storm had passed. But it seems to just begin. I wonder when will stuff turns better. Im afraid i'll break down before it comes. It seems so easy yet so hard. The waves seems to be big this time. Someone please guide me. Who will be my angel?

Note: The stuffs below is written from my instinct. A woman's instinct. what i feel. People always say a girl had strong instinct. I wonder if it's true. If it's false, Please ignore everything i wrote. If it's true, congratulation to my instinct, you have grown.

you said it'll only be in maple. But now it seems to invade your msn. All over i saw another girl's name. I am not a retard, it's so obvious. I tried to disregard the maple issue. I've been trying so hard to forget everything, her name and your lovey dovey stuffs with her. Like you told me to do so, to close an eye this time. But why are you being so cruel? To keep repeating and repeating it to me again. I'm trying very very hard to hold on. But We've been together for so long, when is the last time i've ever saw my name appearing in your msn, when is the last time i've seen sweet messages from you, to me. Just when a new girl appear, everything of you changed. Everything seems to evolve within "Timo & May", "May & Timo".

It seems like you don't belong to me anymore. Sometimes i felt i don't feel significant to you anymore. You know what's the most important feeling to a girl? Security from her boyfriend. I do not want to admit this but i dont feel secure now.

You said you only add the admin in your msn. But there seems to be alot of evidences pointing to the fact that she is in your Msn too. why lie. To protect me, dont want to upset me? If she's not in your msn, why bother to change your msn nick so much to be so loving. For me? But i don't know why can't i feel it. I don't know but even in Msn, i see her name. What should i do? Evade msn and maple?

I don't want to force you or anything. Im trying to be understanding that you're having family problems. Im also trying to help you and your family to patch back like in the past, a happy family as much as i can. But can you please try to understand my feelings that i have to go through too? You give me a temper everytime whenever i talk abit about You and May. Why? It upsets me. Can't i ask abit?

You asked me to give you 1 month to settle this from 11 August. By then, Will you be able to end this? Will there be a second time? a third time? whenever your parents quarrel, your sis's problem. Will you turn back to online games as well? I wish you can further re-assure me. I don't know, For this time, maybe God wants me to know about this issue, hence I chanced about this. You can play any amount of servers, make countless of girlfriends, without telling me, i wont know. but dont you feel guilty or bad yourself?

If i had a choice, I rather i do not know anything about these. Why does God wants to punish me like this? When will you be able to treat me as your girlfriend, trust me and rely on me instead of other people? It saddens me that you rather rely on other people than me. Im waiting for a day where you can rely on me again.


*Do note this post is written base on my instinct, what is in my mind at that current time frame. Instinct can be true or untrue so yupps.

comment? / top

oh wow congratulations blogger! you're back in the same shape again ._. no posting of pictures . One of my friend left me this comment after i ranted about all these internet application that got fugged up.
My friend=>""u know recently fb and google and another website dat i cnt rmb, all kenna hit by cyber attacks simultanausly. Some Denial Of Service thingy, dats y fb lagging lol"
i wonder who's the genius who launch such a powerful cyber attack!
oh well since i can't post pictures, nothing much to do here too. wanted to put up a few pictures to take part in a contest to win some gifts lol! i only wanted the freebies :X

Anyway, discovered a huge secret yesterday that hubby had a secret affair with another girl online in maple and were like lovey dovery under the watchful eyes of the public. Well what can i do? I did not expect it after like 2 years of decent relationship and oh wonderful? It's always the both of us tgt regardless if it's in an online game or real life and now there's a new online girl. Well, on your part you said that you treat online as online and real life is real life and that's all. But it's not in the past? But it do have a chain effect if you realised. Humans are funny creatures. Even if it's online, our feelings do get mixed up. you get angry at times and you can be happy when your online lover treats you good. You may say all of you live in different time zones. But i do not live with you and im not with you 24/7. I won't know what would you'll be doing either. You can say you're doing this but actually you're doing another thing. I admit im not an exception. I don't even know you're mapling and had all these friends. However i do believe in karma. I do know foreigners maybe more open and it's alright if you are close to them as friends. But is there a need to have a different online girlfriend? Calling each other baby and i<3you, i miss you etc. Seriously after seeing all that stuff i really wanted to put an end between us. i feel like puking. Very little people can withstand seeing other girls calling their boyfriend " dear, baby, honey<3 " is like what the fuck are they calling my guy like this? The answer you gave me in the morning, you wish to keep both of it, honestly, its a little disappointing even though you did emphasized im more impt. You can keep your friends but sorry i cannot accept you with another girl with another online relationship even though it's not real life. You know outstanders can see a relationship more clearly than others and im not a stupid retard who can't use my eyes and heart. you may say im petty but you can ask other girls if they mind having their bf having a extra girl.

i know you're having alot of family problems but JUST FACE IT instead of running away to the online world. you're a guy, how can you run away? Just face it dude? Running away to the online world where nobody knows you, getting to know new online friends and girlfriends, Would this solve your problem? It'll only numb your pain temporarily just like drugs. So whats the story ending of those drug addicts? sniff drugs, either die or get caught and suffer in jail. Why make yourself suffer more? There are no problems which cannot be resolve in this world. It only depends on How you face it, How you Handle it and your executing actions. If you bow to fate and let it lead you, you're a coward. Coward, you get it? There are alot of things you can do you know, like us going on a pinic, going cycling etc we havent even done this. For a family to stay together, Everyone plays a part to keep things going. You can try to choose a day when everyone's home, have a foursome talk tgt, tell them how unhappy you are and what will happen in the future. For your sister, perhaps she don't understand the seriousness of the problem yet. She is still growing up. Tell her abit by abit, about the future of the family and stuffs. There are alot of things to do. Just don't give up hope.
you're only drowning yourself in illusions now. You're only giving yourself and everyone more excuses. Do you want to ruin everything? your relationship with your family and me? You may ask why am i sticking with you for so long, because i believe the problem will always get resolve and tml may be a better day. I do not belittle our relationship and try to make it last forever because i do love you. I do believe in "forgive and forget". But there's always rules to everything.
1. I do not share my boyfriend regardless if it's online or real life. I treat both as the same.
I will not accept what happened in noobms.

2. There's a limit to my patience and feelings. Im trying to grab hold of the ropes and trying to make this relationship lasting. My hands does not clap alone. You play the other part. Once things get out of hand, and i no longer feel anything, that's it dear.

That is all im ranting for today. im off for dinner !

comment? / top